The Dream Killer

​When I was in college, one of my biggest fears was getting a 8 to 5 desk job, because I thought that was the dream killer. I dreaded it as I perceived it as selling out, as choosing security over passions. This worry lasted well after I graduated and influenced my decisions in looking and selecting jobs with irregular or flexible schedules for it to work around my sporadic writing sessions. This season lasted about a year after I graduated and I quickly learned that jobs with flexible schedules fit into two categories: They don't pay enough for the bills, or you are always on call with little down time. If these jobs are your dream then awesome! But if they aren't and you are only in it for the money and schedule so you can chase your dream, you may want to rethink it.

It was almost a year since I graduated and started working in real estate before I bit the bullet and got a full-time desk job. Was I scared that I was taking the easy way out? That I was selling out by not having three part-time jobs that could work around my writing to having a single job? That in a blink of an eye I would be forty and had left my dream in the closet collecting dust? Yes, I was scared that all that would happen. So, I stayed extremely conscious of my surroundings, and let my friends know so they could help me, as I started my first full-time desk job. Observing, fearfully, what my time would look like and just what would happen. It was about two months in when the realization set in, and I found the dream killer.

Myself.

It was myself and how I allocate not just my time but also my finances and energy. It was, and is, learning to force my writing to bend to my schedule and not just to write "when I feel like it." Learning that though I work Monday to Friday 8 to 5 I still had the evenings to write and the entire weekend. That the time is there no matter the job, you just have to use it. Choosing to discipline myself in writing after work even if I was a tired or drained. Cutting out the YouTube binge and the Facebook scrolling that, if I'm not careful, will take over my entire evening. Putting money where my passion is and saving for the editing, book covers, and marketing even when the Nintendo Switch looks amazing!

Now, keep in mind, I still do some of those things, but they have just been bumped down in priority, and I'm trying to consciously be aware of how much time I spend with them. I still play video games but after I get my writing done. I still watch YouTube, but I try, and fail a lot, to watch stuff that will improve my story telling. I have time for Netflix, but it's after I read, I'm not that good at this one either. And life will send you stuff that will force you to put your dream on the back burner for a bit. But once that stuff has settled or passed, the choice is back to you to bring it forward to a front burner.
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Basically, in the end, the only thing you can blame for killing your dream is yourself. But here is the best part about dreams. They can easily come back to life because of Christ. They can change and evolve to the real dream God wants you to chase and glorify Him with, because in the end, that's the point of the passions and dreams we have, to glorify Him with them. And if your dreams aren't doing that, we need to ask Him to change them, so they do or kill it and replace with the one He has given you. Trust me; God is much better at choosing your dream than you are.

Thanks for reading!